In a recent Wall Street Journal article, What Women Artists Knew About Work, Mason Currey cites Harriet Beecher Stowe’s (“Uncle Tom’s Cabin”) letter to her sister-in-law with these words…
“Since I began this note, I have been called off at least a dozen times – once for the fish-man to buy a codfish – once to see a man who had brought me some baskets of apples – once to see a bookman… then to nurse the baby –then into the kitchen to make a chowder for dinner and now I am at it again, for nothing but deadly determination enables me to ever write – it is rowing against wind and tide.”
As I sit at my desk and computer hashing it out with a multitude of to-do’s nipping at my feet, I feel very close to Harriet. It requires determination and sheer work to find the time to read, think, research and write but I am compelled to do so by the pounding drum within me.
Finding time to create was difficult for many women throughout history. In many ways we have it easier today but media distractions can be one of our fiercest opponents. Technological advancements have disrupted and loaded our lives with interruptions and the one highest on the list is the smartphone in our hands. Its unrelenting grasp hooks us. We often get blindly swept away following social media, watching YouTube or are mesmerized by video games.
Women of the past had multiple distractions since so many worked from home. Most were solo entrepreneurs who produced in their own creative spaces. They had to learn to discipline themselves and learn business skills on their own.
The entrepreneurial spirit continues today. According to a 2017 survey by Remote.co, 28% of women who work remotely are CEO’s and leaders of their own companies compared to 5.2% of women working in S&P 500 companies and 6.4% of women in Fortune 500 companies. Interestingly, 90% of women surveyed chose to work remotely because of the barriers they felt from men in top leadership positions. Another reason was the inability to be a family caregiver due to conflicts in the workplace. The New York Times reported in 2017 that “half or more of the women who earn an M.B.A. that year would drop out of the full-time workforce within a decade.”
I had several distractions, including children, before I was able to fully pursue my first passion: theatrical acting. The balance of work and home responsibilities often continues to deter women from pursuing artistic and business endeavors. However, my dad, a basketball coach, often inspired me with these words from his mentor, former UCLA coach John Wooden, “Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” My dad taught me to be persistent and not to be deterred by interruptions. My heavenly Father has also taught me that when you are pursuing what you are called to do by God, interruptions won’t deter you either.
Completing a project of any kind may have momentary interruptions, many of which can’t be controlled. Some may only last moments and others, years. But one thing I have discovered is that there is real joy and contentment when you are in the zone of creative work doing what God’s called you to do. When you are in the middle of where He wants you, it doesn’t matter if it gets difficult. You’d do it again and again because it breathes life into your soul. It allows you to communicate with God fully.
At the end of editing my devotional, Hope 4 Today: Stay Connected to God in a Distracted Culture, I was given a 24-hour deadline by the publisher due to printing issues to complete the final draft. I was forced to stay up and work all night, shoving all other responsibilities aside. Surprisingly, the time flew by. I found myself energized within the sleepiness because I was driven to submit a manuscript that I felt had been inspired by God.
Headwinds can never deter those who are “called according to His purposes.” (See Romans 8:28.)
There are times that your life changes suddenly. At those time I feel like my stomach kisses my backbone and my hands start itching and aching like crazy! I can still remember my life going into total upheaval mode when I was told unceremoniously by my boss 4 years almost to the day that I’d been hired at my job, “I’m sorry, but you’re fired!”
A few days ago, those same feelings came rushing back at me like an avalanche as I sat in Starbucks drinking my favorite coffee, scrolling through my iPhone, when Jennifer Lopez’s new film, which is coming out this Holiday Season, came up on my news feed. It looks hysterically funny (that’s code for I can’t wait to see it!), because as a women, now in hermid-50s, that moment in 2006 when I was 42, utterly changed my life! I still wince from the financial aftermath — the sting of losing my job — remembering it so clearly as if it were yesterday, because it was the start of a Herculean uphill financial battle that lasted many years!
Check out the trailer below and see if it doesn’t resonate with you:
Getting back to my story. Apparently the Executive Board had lost their contract, so, through no fault of my own, I was laid off! As most people do after a job lay off, you start marketing yourself furiously so that you can get another job — any job to pay the bills, especially if you live in Forest Hills, Queens (NYC) where I lived at the time, and where my rent for my 2 Bedroom apartment was over $2800 a month!
I’m a “glass is half full kind of gal”, so to tell you the truth, I was actually kind of excited and hopeful about the prospect of finding something new. As I have a Masters from Columbia University which I’d earned only 7 years previous to that time period in my life, I figured that it would take me no more than 3-6 months to find another position.
Sister… How wrong I was!
To this date… I have NEVER been able to get another permanent full-time job with benefits! I physically have documented that since 2006, I have sent out well over 2500 resumes to employers for positions for which I am absolutely qualified. I was interviewed several times for high level positions in NYC and even called back for additional follow-up interviews at several companies – a few up to 5 times! But every single time I was informed a few weeks later, that they’d hired someone else for the job via a letter like this…
You get the drift!
The ultimate humiliation came when I was told “off the record” by a well meaning head hunter, that my problem was that those hiring want to hire people younger than me, because I reminded them of … wait for it… their “Mom” as I was now 46!
Can you just image being told that!?!
It took me a long while, but I finally woke up and realized a truth.
The only way to guarantee income into my household, was to be in business for myself!
So after much prayer, reflection, research and re-education (I call it PrR&R), I bootstrapped my own business and I vowed to make three essential changes to my life.
Change #1: Develop A Positive Mental Attitude Reading Regimen
Change #2: Hang With and Listen to Successful Business Owners
Additionally, as I build my business I know that the more I listen to successful people who’ve built fantastic businesses of their own, the better I become at my business. I listen to podcasts like The Big Shift, The Marie Forleo Podcast, Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations, and She Did It Her Way because I need the inspiration to keep on keeping on! Additionally, I schedule into my calendar, local, regional and national meetings and conferences to go to, where I can meet successful people and associate with them. This way I can model their success habits into my own business.
Change #3: Focus on the Spiritual
Lastly I started focusing more on the spiritual needs of my life by becoming more grateful and thankful. I remember when this epiphany occurred. I was sitting in my basement apartment in Santa Monica. I had just moved there, I had no money in the bank, and I had no job. Real inspirational success story there, right?! What’s crazy is that I woke up and I heard God, speak to my heart and I realized that though I had nothing in the bank, I had a roof over my head, food in my belly (not one day did I go hungry) and clothes on my back – and stylish clothing at that! Though I had no job lined up, I had hope and good prospects that some how or some way soon, He would provide for me. I started saying to friends – tongue in cheek, “God is letting me ‘suffer’ in style while living in Santa Monica” – which is one of the most expensive areas of the country to call home!
As I continue to build my business – now in my hometown of Dallas, Texas (that’s a whole other story for another time!) – I have come to realize that I am not alone as a middle aged female business owner. According to New York Times writer Kerry Hannon’s 10/3/2017 Article, which is absolutely worth a read, check it out HERE, “in 2016, there were an estimated 11.3 million women-owned businesses in the United States — a 45 percent increase since 2007, according to the 2016 State of Women-Owned Businesses Report from American Express.” The article goes on to state,…
“Female entrepreneurs, particularly those over age 50, are igniting intergenerational entrepreneurship partnerships and collaborations among women of all ages,” said Elizabeth Isele, founder and chief executive of the Global Institute for Experienced Entrepreneurship. “Intergenerational partnerships between women dispel age-related stereotypes and build strong bonds across age, race and ethnicity in our increasingly diverse workplaces,” Ms. Isele said.”
If you fit into this demographic – being a a women who wants to start your own business and you’re in your 2nd or even 3rd chapter of life being in your 40’s, 50’s, 60’s or even 70’s – take a minute to ask yourself and answer these 3 questions:
When you were a young girl, lying in your backyard looking up at the stars in the sky, did you imaging living the way you are living now?
Is your Income Circle as large as your Dream Circle?
Can you honestly state that you are happy and financially secure with where you are in life at this stage of life?
I believe that all Women Over 40, 50, 60 or even 70 need a second chance because 9 times out of 10, most of us did not “get it right” in our 20s and 30s and we aren’t necessarily where we dreamed we’d be at this age.
If all your answers are YES to the questions above… then “Hooray for you!!!! You got it right in your 20s and 30s!!” But I bet, 90% of you have answered, NO.
So please for your sake and for your sanity, consider starting your own business and push hard for your own dreams! I know I did it, and though it is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done, it is also the BEST thing I’d ever done because…
My business became my second chance in my second chapter of life and it can also be that for you!
Felicia Lopes trains and empowers Women Over 40 who want to start businesses and become entrepreneurs nationwide through her robust online learning management system which features 3 Curriculum, 8 Core Courses, and over 70 individual classes (or modules). Join her this coming 12/20/2018 for her webinar — Cultivating the Entrepreneurial Mindset where she will walk you through the minefields and mental hurdles most Adults Over 40 face when launching a new business. Register here to attend this information packed webinar.
I found some amazing music that lifts my soul and wanted to share it with you. Considering the times in which we live in this nation, this music touches the heart as much as it did when it first was release by The Beatles in 1970. Listen to the words and let them annoint you!
In honor of Valentine’s Day – here’s a video that perfectly describes the four types of LOVE.
Produced by BADD (BelAir Drama Department) Ministry at the church I attend when I’m in Los Angeles, BelAir Presbyterian. This amazing video featuring THE BADD STREET BOYS is funny yet relevant about the true nature of love.
For your reference, here’s the types of God’s Love as expressed in the song…
STORGE – that’s love that’s like a mother
EROS – (sex) that’s love not mentioned in church
PHILIA – that’s love that’s like a good friend
AGAPE – the highest love that He calls us to; the love that NEVER goes away!
I am so proud to call Bridgit Antoinette Evans my friend and my sister! We have been friends now for over 20 years, going all the way back to our time in grad school at Columbia University in the 90s. The script written by Sandra A. Daley-Sharif is utterly phenomenal and blew me away with its poignancy, its pathos and its hard-hitting message of humanity and spirit. I feel that these two women’s work – Sandra’s words and Bridgit performance – had to be highlighted at the top of this year, 2017, as we move forward as a country to try to heal from the wounds of an election cycle that left us all hurting and rendered an incomprehensible reality to us all – that we have lost our compassion and our ability to see the humanity in the least of our brothers and sisters.
To me, this video highlighted a social area of injustice that we usually completely ignore – homelessness that leads to self-deprecating isolation and shame. Unfortunately it seems to me that many of the tenants of the roots of the United States are being ripped apart today as is so evidenced by the election of a man such as Trump – who glorifies opulence as well as over-the-top conspicuous consumption while ignoring the plight of millions of Americans today – specifically as highlighted here in the harsh reality of poverty and homelessness!
It seem to me that we as nation have forgotten our compassion and our need to lift up and not stomp into oblivion those that are helpless due in many instances to no fault of their own. Maybe it was a loss of a job, outrageous medical expenses, a divorce, I don’t know; but I do know that we need to be cognizant of our fellow-man and woman no matter what he or she looks like or smells like or worships like because one day, there but for the grace of God, go we and then this story as portrayed in this video becomes our own reality too.
This theatrical performance hits the heart because of its utter simplicity in delivery and its lack of bravado that yields complete authenticity. It is an introspection of purpose that creates mind-blowing power! I hope that you will enjoy this as much as I did so please take the time to share with your friends and family! I believe that this powerful yet gentle message will touch their hearts deeply. Bravo Bridgit and Bravo Sandra for creating such a wonder piece!